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Day From Hell

Good Morning, Sunshine!

Not really… not really. Horseshoe tried to update my iPhone last night and now it’s dead. (Did I mention that Horseshoe has been in technology for 30 years). So now, not only do I need to get Frat Boy to school and Politico to the doctor (because he has gotten the flu that the rest of the family has just gotten over) I have the joy of spending most the rest of my day at the Apple store.

Thanks for the update, Horseshoe, NOT!

Thanks for the update, Horseshoe, NOT

This is turning out to be the day I wish I could start over already.

After taking Politico to the doctor and leaving him in the car for three hours while I was in the Apple store, while burning through a tank of gas…(don’t judge me, he is sick… it was parked right in front of the store), I still don’t have a working phone.

Went to get Frat Boy from school and needed to take him to 3rd grade basketball practice but couldn’t find his ball (Horseshoe had it last and doesn’t know what happened to it, of course). So I picked him up and went to Target 30 minutes away from practice because it is the closest place that sells basketballs. Got the ball, on sale for 50% off and I think the day is turning around again, right? Nope… I take him to where his practice is normally held and it’s a 5th grade game. I have Politico check his phone to see where practice is tonight (would have gotten a text, had I had a phone) and his cell phone plan maxes out and the phone shuts down.

I asked a parent if I could use her phone to check where practice is and she says NO! So I drive to another school, thinking it might be there, 25 minutes away and it’s another 5th grade game.  Asked another parent if I could use his phone (picked a guy this time) and HE said NO!  Not sure if I just look like shit because of just getting over being sick or if I really have bad karma today.

About to loose it here

About to loose it here

So I decide to drive home. I get home to Horseshoe in the kitchen getting himself dinner.  He leaves to go to the apple store for me and I proceed to make dinner for the kids which they REFUSE to eat!

Pause…Beer #1

Beer #1

Beer #1

Kids get in a fight and I start screaming. Politico then pops a blood vessel in his nose and is bleeding like a stuck pig all over the freshly clean kitchen (that I did before I left for the apple store).

Bleeding like a stuck pig

Bleeding like a stuck pig

Pause…Beer #2

Beer #2

Beer #2

Horseshoe thinks he can sweet talk the “genius” guy at the apple store into giving him an upgrade on my phone. Which is why he claimed that HE should go to return my phone (you know, the one in MY name).

Horseshoe does it again!

Horseshoe does it again!

While I was arguing with the children to eat their food, a friggen stink bug flies into my hair! I looked like I was having a seizure because I didn’t know what it was but could feel it and hear the buzzing.  It flew out of my hair onto the dining room light fixture.  At this point the kids are laughing hysterically stabbing their food with their forks and knives chanting KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT!

KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT

KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT

 

Going for….Pause…Beer #3

Beer #3

Beer #3

WTF??? It is 7 degrees outside, this is the first bug I have seen since summer. I captured it (because I would have thrown up if I killed it and it stunk) and threw it out the front door. Which the devil dog (Horseshoe’s Piranha that I have a hate/hate relationship with) tried escaping from. I actually kicked him and begged him to bite me so I could shove him out, but he didn’t…

Horseshoe's Piranha

Horseshoe’s Piranha

 

I didn’t wait up for Horseshoe. I had one more beer and went to bed. Maybe it wasn’t really the day from hell. Just an overall shitty set of bad karma circumstances. You can’t make this shit up!

Hope this gave you a chuckle. You never know the adventures that await you in Two States of Chaos!

bedlum

 

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